We all do it.

We ask for advice, look for reassurance, and wonder what others might think before making even small decisions. While that’s completely human, it can sometimes lead us away from what we actually feel, need, and want.

This is where something called your “internal locus of evaluation” comes in.

That might sound technical, but it’s actually very simple.

It just means:
Do you look to yourself to decide what’s right for you… or do you rely mostly on other people’s opinions?

External vs Internal – What’s the Difference?
External focus:
“What will they think?”
“What should I do?”
“Am I doing this right?”
Internal focus:
“What feels right for me?”
“What do I need right now?”
“Does this align with who I am?”

Neither is “bad.” But if we rely too much on external validation, we can lose touch with ourselves. That’s often when stress, anxiety, and low confidence creep in.

Why This Matters for Your Wellbeing

When you start trusting your own judgement:

You feel more confident in your decisions
You experience less anxiety about pleasing others
You build a stronger sense of identity
You feel more in control of your life

It’s not about ignoring others—it’s about not abandoning yourself in the process.

Simple Ways to Start Trusting Yourself More

You don’t need to overhaul your life. Small shifts make a big difference.

1. Pause Before You Seek Opinions

Next time you’re about to ask someone, stop and ask yourself first:

“What do I think about this?”

Even if you still ask for input, you’re strengthening your inner voice.

2. Check In With Your Body

Your body often knows before your mind does.

Ask yourself:

Do I feel calm or tense about this?
Does this feel like a “yes” or a “no”?

That gut feeling is valuable information.

3. Start Small

You don’t have to make big life decisions straight away.

Practice with everyday things:

What do you want to eat?
How do you want to spend your evening?
Do you actually want to say yes to that plan?

Small choices build self-trust.

4. Notice When You’re People-Pleasing

Gently catch yourself when you’re about to say yes but mean no.

Try:

“Let me get back to you.”

This creates space to check in with yourself.

5. Remind Yourself: You’re Allowed to Choose You

This one is simple, but powerful:

You are allowed to make decisions that work for you.

Not selfish. Not wrong. Just human.

Final Thought:

Learning to trust yourself isn’t about getting it “right” all the time.

It’s about building a relationship with yourself where your voice matters too.

Because at the end of the day, you’re the one living your life.