The people we spend time with can have a huge impact on how we feel day to day. Some leave us feeling energised, lighter, and more positive. Others can make us feel drained, unsettled, or doubtful of ourselves. Choosing who you surround yourself with is not selfish. It’s an important part of looking after your mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Why positive relationships matter
Healthy, supportive relationships are one of the strongest predictors of resilience, growth, and emotional balance. When we’re with people who encourage us, listen to us, and respect us, we tend to feel more confident, more open to growth, and calmer in ourselves.
In contrast, relationships that are one-sided, critical, or demanding can slowly erode our sense of self-worth, leaving us feeling anxious, unsettled, or exhausted.
How to recognise the difference
Your energy is not unlimited. Who you spend it with is one of the most important choices you make.
Creating boundaries with draining relationships
It isn’t always possible or appropriate to cut ties with people who make us feel negative. But you can set boundaries to protect your energy. That might look like:
Draining relationships
You leave feeling tired or flat
You feel weighed down or tense
You doubt yourself more afterwards
You feel less like yourself
Nurturing relationships
You leave feeling energised
You feel lighter and uplifted
You feel more confident and grounded
You feel more yourself
- Limiting the amount of time you spend together
- Choosing not to engage in certain conversations
- Allowing yourself to say no without guilt
- Seeking balance by spending more time with people who leave you feeling good
A useful question to ask yourself
After spending time with someone, notice how you feel. Not during, but afterwards, once you’re on your own again. Do you feel more or less like yourself? More or less settled? That honest answer tells you a great deal.
Your energy is precious.
By nurturing relationships that help you feel positive, and reducing the impact of those that leave you drained, you are taking a powerful step in supporting your mental health, self-confidence, and overall wellbeing. That is not selfishness. It is self-respect.
Free Initial Consultation
Finding certain relationships hard to navigate?
Counselling can help you understand your relationship patterns, build healthier boundaries, and find more of what sustains you. I offer a free 30-minute consultation with no obligation. Sessions in St Albans, Hemel Hempstead, Watford and online across the UK.
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